B.I.L.F- Beard I'd Like to Fuck

 COME ONE COME ALL....OR REALLY JUST COME ALL OVER MY FACE.
Men,
      You have probably been mistakenly believing all of these years that women prefer you clean shaven. A beard gives off the image of slobbery you must be thinking. Well you little fucking babies, forget what your mother told you. THAT BITCH WAS WRONG. As you can see from the smoldering sex pots to the left, BEARDS NOT ONLY MAKE YOU FUNNIER, BUT THEY MAKE YOU MORE HANDSOME. Exhibit A: Zach Galafanakis- Awkward, ridiculous and overall wonderful comedian by day, Playboy by night. Men, if you think you get more action than this dude, you are sorely mistaken. I WOULD LET THAT GOOFY SOFT BLANKET OF A BEARD RAVAGE MY VELVET CURTAIN ANY DAY. And if you can even bear to look at the beauty of George Clooney's peppered, stubbly littlle bastard without getting wetter than the Pacific Ocean, YOU MUST BE RETARDED. I wouldn't be surprised to see the straightest men get a little chubby at the mere sight of that perfect smile and it's graying frame. These men and their beards LITERALLY have an All Access pass to my sexual fantasies. LEARN FROM THIS LESSON MY SONS. MY CHARGE FOR YOU 1) Go forth and grow the most righteous beard mankind has ever seen. 2) ACQUIRE ENDLESS PUSSY.  
This may be an ongoing post once I find more equally worth B.I.L.F's. Let me know if you have any ideas!